There's this phrase that my ex use to say that always made me give him such a dumbfounded look because well.... let me explain. He had this perspective that at age 25, no one really knows what they're doing. They just don't because we're "young". We haven't experienced enough to say we have it figured out. And to some degree, I agree with him because who could really say they have everything figured out? But at some extent we do know what we're doing. We know what we're doing, we just don't know the outcome. We're afraid, curious, worried, etc. Here's my thought.
At some point in our lives, before any decision, before making the next move, before altering the way we think or changing our personal goals, we think. We compare the pros and cons. We try to think about certain scenarios or even, possibly the outcome. But no matter how hard we try to control or think what the outcome will be, we won't. We think about what we should do and what we shouldn't. We think about the person we want to be in a relationship with before starting a relationship.. We think about certain things before starting something new like a job or even a marriage. LOL you wouldn't say yes to a random person who just came up to you and proposed right? We make observations and sometimes based on our observations, we make a decision.
For example, I don't know if it's a culture thing but in my family, we were always told to watch how a man treats and speaks to his mother because that's how he will treat his lady. Anyone can write or post anything on social media but in light, the whole story or picture isn't being captured. So you take a moment in making observations. If you saw a man or even a woman disrespecting their parents, yelling, and just being disrespectful.. Wouldn't that make you think? Wouldn't that make you think about the possibility of being disrespected? Mistreated? Now if you continue on with the relationship you couldn't say you didn't know what you were getting yourself into because you did... you continued on with the excuse that maybe you wouldn't be treated that way. You continued on making an excuse for that person...
Here's another example. If you're with someone that brings out the worst in you, that discourages you instead of encouraging you, would you still want to with them? The obvious answer is no but of course we're human and it's easier said than done. In both examples, we think before doing. Saying you don't know what you're doing is an excuse. It's an excuse to avoid different aspects that you may not want to face.
It's okay if you don't have everything figured out. It's okay if it's taking awhile to be where you want to be. It's okay if you're still working on yourself no matter what your age is. It's okay to want to put yourself first sometimes. It's okay to want to test the waters. It's okay.
What's not okay is trying to make an excuse to avoid or cover up whatever it is you may be tying to avoid. We're human. We get tired. We make mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and do better, be better. And remember, it's okay if you don't have everything figured out. We're all still learning and we're all still growing. Appreciate yourself . Appreciate what you have done not what you haven't. Make that your motivation to keep working harder.
Photographed by: Cherrymae S.